for the third time this year i will be in a position to review student portfolios. college seniors. seriously? i'm qualified for that now? oh yeah, college was... years ago. weird.
so mg reads the blog and he was very concerned this morning. "do you really think that's going to happen to our marriage?" to which i answered "no".
the previous post was a response to an ongoing discussion of marriage in today's culture. a culture that does not value marriage as a life-long commitment. does not see commitment as good. there are endless jokes about the stupidity of men, the silliness of women, the general unhappiness of people who are stuck married. by "what i fear" i didn't mean that is the direction i think our marriage is headed. but it is what i see in many marriages around us, and what i want to be sure to avoid.
i love our marriage, but i also know that life is (hopefully) long. at times it will be difficult. there will be pressures on our relationship that we can't predict. i don't think anyone sets out to have a complacent marriage, but i do think too often people aren't intentional about avoiding it. they wake up one day and wonder how they got where they're at. i don't want to be that person. i don't think i will.
at 8:49 AM
there's a great discussion going on over at apracticalwedding on what it means to be a wife but not (yet) a mother. the question was raised "in your marriage, what do you fear"? here are my thoughts:
Someone mentioned that what they fear most is a complacent marriage. I think that word sums it up perfectly.
So what do I fear in our marriage? I fear falling so much into a routine we don't even realize we have one. I fear getting off work every day and coming home to this: He takes care of the dog, I take care of dinner. He does the dishes, I start the laundry. He turns on the tv, I grab the laptop.
There's nothing wrong with that routine in and of itself. It's practical. I love cooking. The dog obeys him way better than me. But I want to remain aware of what we do. I want to cook dinner because I enjoy trying new recipes, not because it's expected and an obligation. I want him to choose to wash the dishes out of love and a feeling of partnership, not assume he has to take care of them because that's the habit we've fallen into.
Now I cherish these little everyday things of life. Ways we partner together to take care of necessities, things we do together. But I fear letting those things become the big things. Mindlessly letting them run our lives. I want an intentional marriage. One that is brave, courageous, self aware. One where we challenge each other to do new things, even hard things, because in the end those are the things we will be proud of. I want a marriage that is anything but complacent.
now, go read the rest of the discussion. it's thought provoking to be sure.
at 12:46 PM
i can never seem to remember everything on the same day. every morning this week i have managed to make and bring coffee but forgotten to grab my yogurt or fruit for breakfast. today i remembered to grab breakfast, but forgot to start the coffee so it would be ready in time.
at least i always have lunch packed. thanks to leftovers and a wonderful husband.
at 11:07 AM