meg does it again

there's a great discussion going on over at apracticalwedding on what it means to be a wife but not (yet) a mother. the question was raised "in your marriage, what do you fear"? here are my thoughts:

Someone mentioned that what they fear most is a complacent marriage. I think that word sums it up perfectly.

So what do I fear in our marriage? I fear falling so much into a routine we don't even realize we have one. I fear getting off work every day and coming home to this: He takes care of the dog, I take care of dinner. He does the dishes, I start the laundry. He turns on the tv, I grab the laptop.

There's nothing wrong with that routine in and of itself. It's practical. I love cooking. The dog obeys him way better than me. But I want to remain aware of what we do. I want to cook dinner because I enjoy trying new recipes, not because it's expected and an obligation. I want him to choose to wash the dishes out of love and a feeling of partnership, not assume he has to take care of them because that's the habit we've fallen into.

Now I cherish these little everyday things of life. Ways we partner together to take care of necessities, things we do together. But I fear letting those things become the big things. Mindlessly letting them run our lives. I want an intentional marriage. One that is brave, courageous, self aware. One where we challenge each other to do new things, even hard things, because in the end those are the things we will be proud of. I want a marriage that is anything but complacent.

now, go read the rest of the discussion. it's thought provoking to be sure.