being a foster parent

Sometimes foster parenting is the look of joy on a little boy's face when he realizes that you actually came back for him like you said you would.

Other times it is looking a little girl in the eye after she fiercely declares "i don't want you!" and saying "well i want you" and getting surprised by her sudden hug.

But mostly right now it is hearing a two year old scream for mommy, knowing this time she means you, and knowing that being mommy means instead of rushing in to comfort her, you sit outside her door in the dark and quietly cry with her.