nothing teaches you more about yourself than marriage and parenting! we're growing, not always an enjoyable process, but a good one.

our teen found out last night that she will not be going home. ever. we've known this news would likely be coming for the past couple of weeks so in a way it is almost a relief to have it decided for sure. now we can move forward with working to get her into a less temporary placement, and hopefully once the grief & anger are dealt with things will get easier for her. at least the anxiety over not knowing is gone.

i am humbled and amazed by her resilience. at times i am tempted to be disappointed in her behavior or frustrated by what she doesn't know. then i think about how much her life has changed. it would be the equivalent of me losing my house, pets, husband, friends, church, all contact with family, and starting a new job where I knew no one... overnight. i don't know any adults who could weather that kind of change and continue to function normally. but she gets up every morning, goes to a strange school full of new people, comes home to a strange house where nothing is familiar... and continues to adjust without ever getting the chance to relax in a setting where she knows the routine and what to expect. my heart breaks for her and i wish i knew how to love her better.

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